With Gratitude

To the people who helped Doug live more life.

For the last three years of Doug’s life, an extraordinary community formed around us.

Physicians, nurses, specialists, technicians, schedulers, pharmacists, caregivers, friends and family brought their knowledge, persistence and humanity to a journey none of us would have chosen.

This page isn't about Doug's illness.

It's about the people who helped protect his life while he was living it.

To Doug’s Medical Teams

Doug's care often required extraordinarily complicated medicine and coordination across specialties. There were surgeries, procedures, consultations, treatments, transfusions, scans and more decisions than either of us ever imagined having to make.

Through all of it, we encountered remarkable people.

We are profoundly grateful to the physicians and teams at UCLA Health and Hoag, and especially to:

Some gave us answers. Some gave us options. Some bought Doug precious time.

And sometimes, when medicine could no longer change the destination, they helped us understand how to make the journey gentler.

Doug expected excellence and asked a lot of questions—no surprise there. He respected people who knew their craft, spoke plainly, and were willing to think through a difficult problem with him.

So did I.

To every physician who stayed on the phone a little longer, reconsidered an approach, coordinated with another specialist, squeezed us into a schedule or simply told us the truth with compassion: thank you.

To the People Behind the Medicine

There are people whose names may never appear on a medical chart but whom we will never forget.

The nurses who learned what made Doug comfortable.

The technicians who made frightening procedures feel manageable.

The schedulers who somehow found the appointment.

The infusion and transfusion teams who welcomed us back again and again.

The Costco pharmacists who helped untangle complicated medication plans.

The Hoag home-health professionals who taught us how to manage equipment we had never expected to see in our living room.

And countless people behind the scenes who quietly made an impossibly complicated system work.

You mattered.

If your name isn't written here, please know that your kindness is remembered.

To the People Who Brought Care Home

When Doug decided that home was where he wanted to be, an entirely different kind of team surrounded us.

We are especially grateful to HOAG Hospice and the nurses and caregivers who helped us protect the things that mattered most to Doug at the end:

comfort, dignity, independence, familiar surroundings, the people he loved—and Frank nearby.

You entered our home during extraordinarily vulnerable moments and somehow managed to bring calm with you.

You permitted us to stop trying to solve everything and helped us focus instead on loving Doug through it.

That was an extraordinary gift.

And Thank You for Taking Care of Me, Too

There is something I didn't fully understand until I became Doug's caregiver: great medical professionals care for the person standing beside the patient, too.

You answered my questions—sometimes the same question more than once.

You taught me medications, tubes, dressings, schedules, and symptoms I never imagined needing to understand.

You helped me distinguish what required action from what simply required patience.

And in Doug's final days, you helped me understand what was happening so I could simply spend my time loving him.

For that, I will always be grateful.

To the People Who Showed Up

Medicine was only one part of the care surrounding Doug.

Family, friends, and neighbors called, visited, drove, brought food (I lost count of the meals prepared by John and Charlene Miller), sat quietly, told old stories, made him laugh, and reminded him that the life outside his illness was still very much there.

Some friendships surrounding Doug had already lasted fifty years.

And when it mattered most, those people showed up. Again and again.

That is the kind of friendship Doug gave to others throughout his life, and it is exactly the friendship he received in return.

Thank You

Ultimately, the greatest thing anyone gave us was time.

More dinners. More sunsets. More conversations. More laughs.

More ordinary days that didn't feel particularly precious until suddenly we understood how precious they had been all along.

To every person who helped give Doug those days—and helped us live them together—

thank you.

You were part of Doug’s story.

And you will always be part of ours,

Laura & Frank the Frenchie